Sticking your hand down the back of your pants into your ass crack and then smelling your hand If done repeatedly for about 3 minutes, the foul odor on your fingers will cause the olfactory bulbs in your sinus cavities to begin to contract in response. This causes the oxygen content in your blood to decrease, which will intoxicate you to the equivalent of 4 beers. Be careful though, this dude I know O.D.'d.
Mildew Tea Everyone loves doing mushrooms, mainly because you can use the abbreviation "'shrooms" also you sound like a complete chode. Thinking along the lines of other possible spores, molds, and fungus, I ruled out spores because my only experience with them was inG.I. Joe: The Movie when Cobra Commander inhaled the kind that make you turn into a giant snake. I went with mold, because we have a large supply of that on our shower curtain. First, I scraped the brownish sludge off the shower with piece of broken mirror I used to do blow off of back before I was frugal. Then, I boiled some water with a spoonful of instant coffee, a pinch of Tang, and the mildew. I drank the brew while doing the crossword puzzle on the morning train and it made me totally high and I partied.